It’s my face and I’ll smile if I want to…

3 Sep

Dear Moron #986, 472 and other random strangers who feel the need to stop me in public and tell me to ‘smile’,

Really? Do you walk around with a perma-smile? Say that again and the next time you smile it will be without those pearly whites.

Love,

Allergic to you. xo

I have a hard time comprehending why people feel the need to do this. I don’t go up to complete strangers and say,

“Hey, your hairpiece looks like a monkey carcass.’

or,

“Hey, your lips look like botox gone bad.”

or,

“Hey, your face looks like an elephant’s ass.”

It’s my face and I’ll smile if I want to.

Seriously.

You: Maybe they are trying to gently tell you something.

Me: Maybe they should gently shut up. I could care less what random strangers think of me and how they feel if I may or may not smile.

So, dear moron, it’s this easy: If you don’t like my face, don’t look.  And please don’t feel obliged to tell me you don’t like my face, or you’ll be cruisin’ for a bruisin’.

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