No Egg!!

5 Nov

Dear people that are in the business of making a breakfast sandwich,

Please enlighten me as to what type of rocket scientist you need to be to make my sandwich correctly.


Allergic to you. xo

Seriously. This just happened:

Me: Hi, may I have bla bla bla with no egg?

Moron #1: Just egg?

Me: NO. EGG. N-O… E-G-G….

Moron #1: So, no egg?

Me: No. Egg. Other stuff – minus the egg.

Moron #1: So, do you want egg?


Moron #2: < hands sandwich> Here’s your breakfast sandwich with only egg.


Moron #2: <hands sandwich with bacon and egg>  No egg?

Me: What the hell? No – EGG.

Moron #2: <hands sandwich with sausage and egg> Here.  No sausage?


Moron #2: < proceeds to take egg off sandwich and returns sandwich with just cheese>

Me: OMFG! NO EGG!! <throws sandwich across the counter> Okay, let’s try this again.

Moron #2: But, no egg?

Me: Really? What exactly is the issue here?

Moron #2: I give sandwich. No egg.

Me: You gave me a sandwich with only egg, then egg and bacon, then egg and saugsage, then just cheese. Goddammit I just want sausage and cheese. NO EGG!!!!

Moron #2: Okay, so… no egg?

Me: See that bread? Put a slice of cheese on it, followed by sausage. Then, slap the two together and what do you get? My breakfast sandwich!!! Who knew??!!!

Moron #2: So, do you want egg?

Me: <death glare, death glare, death glare, death glare>

True story.


One Response to “No Egg!!”

  1. Goose November 5, 2010 at 7:13 pm #

    love the photo.

    sounds like the winner i had on The Bay customer service line yesterday.

    me: please call me at my office, here’s the #
    dumbass: ok, so i’ve updated your file for a call to your office and if not, to your home.

    me: no. i don’t have a home line. only a cell, that’s why i gave you my office # and asked you to call me there.

    that call took 15 minutes. shoot me.

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