Dear people that are in the business of making a breakfast sandwich,
Please enlighten me as to what type of rocket scientist you need to be to make my sandwich correctly.
Love,
Allergic to you. xo
Seriously. This just happened:
Me: Hi, may I have bla bla bla with no egg?
Moron #1: Just egg?
Me: NO. EGG. N-O… E-G-G….
Moron #1: So, no egg?
Me: No. Egg. Other stuff – minus the egg.
Moron #1: So, do you want egg?
Me: NOOOOO. EGG!
Moron #2: < hands sandwich> Here’s your breakfast sandwich with only egg.
Me: NO EGGGG!
Moron #2: <hands sandwich with bacon and egg> No egg?
Me: What the hell? No – EGG.
Moron #2: <hands sandwich with sausage and egg> Here. No sausage?
Me: NOOOOOOO EGGGGGGGGGGGG.
Moron #2: < proceeds to take egg off sandwich and returns sandwich with just cheese>
Me: OMFG! NO EGG!! <throws sandwich across the counter> Okay, let’s try this again.
Moron #2: But, no egg?
Me: Really? What exactly is the issue here?
Moron #2: I give sandwich. No egg.
Me: You gave me a sandwich with only egg, then egg and bacon, then egg and saugsage, then just cheese. Goddammit I just want sausage and cheese. NO EGG!!!!
Moron #2: Okay, so… no egg?
Me: See that bread? Put a slice of cheese on it, followed by sausage. Then, slap the two together and what do you get? My breakfast sandwich!!! Who knew??!!!
Moron #2: So, do you want egg?
Me: <death glare, death glare, death glare, death glare>
True story.
allergic to you... 
love the photo.
sounds like the winner i had on The Bay customer service line yesterday.
me: please call me at my office, here’s the #
dumbass: ok, so i’ve updated your file for a call to your office and if not, to your home.
me: no. i don’t have a home line. only a cell, that’s why i gave you my office # and asked you to call me there.
that call took 15 minutes. shoot me.