20 Jan

I’m going to pull a double whammy here, because frankly, I’m lazy.

Dear guy who used his snot as a hair styling product/girl who removed her eye crusties while wearing leather gloves,

Boogerboy: It was bad enough that you used the palm of your hand as kleenex multiple times.  Was it necessary to rub it in  your hair, which you then styled as if it was gel? Very attractive, rock star. Congratulations, you made me throw up in my mouth a little. I’ve also started to rethink my faith in humanity, but you know, whatever.

Crustygirl: I understand the concept of wearing gloves on transit so your bare hands don’t touch the germ infested pole. Unless you are obsessive, I would imagine that you don’t wash your gloves as often as you wash your hands.  That being said, how exactly might you wash your leather gloves? Think about it, how many times have you worn those gloves? How many door handles, poles, and other random slimy things have you touched since then? And then…. you stuck that glove… in.your.eye. And then… you touched the pole, where your eye crusty was deposited.  And then… Mr. Fancy-business-suit touched that same pole  on the same spot where you deposited your eye crusty.  And then… Mr. Fancy-business-suit used his teeth to remove his glove that touched the pole that touched your eye crusty.

Enough said (almost)…

I believe Boogerboy and Crustygirl would make a fine couple, and live infectiously ever after (with occasional visits from  Mr. Fancy-business-suit).

In all seriousness, if you are going to do this kind of thing, do it in private or at the very least make an effort to not draw attention to yourself. Nobody needs to see that.

Enough said (for real).


Allergic to you. xo


4 Responses to “Germs!”

  1. halfwayto50 January 20, 2011 at 2:01 am #

    I work with young kids every day and there are several booger boys in my class. I usually go home with a booger on my pants every day. Ew.

    • silentorchestra January 20, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

      Ha! Yikes!

  2. Prokostanator January 20, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    Got ya trumped, yesterday on the red-rocket I happen to glance over at a woman, who was holding up a mirror, and POPPING HER ZITS!
    Let me tell you hot and bothered it got me…. *dripping with sarcasm*

    • silentorchestra January 20, 2011 at 6:40 pm #

      Ya, sadly, I’ve seen that too. People are disgusting.

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