Dear woman in seat 16-E,
Your laugh was obnoxious and although I was offended, I was content with letting that slide, until you let multiple stink bombs blast out of your ass. I suggest you stay away from those Spanish titled green puffy snacks, because that’s probably what did it. I also didn’t appreciate that you hogged the arm-rest and had your feet sprawled across the invisible line into my foot area, or the fact that you kept suggesting to your husband (who is gay by the way – not that there’s anything wrong with that), that you should be in my seat even though I nonchalantly let my ticket stub fall so you would pick it up and notice that actually, I am in the correct seat and you just can’t read, but you know, whatever. I was mostly upset about the nasty smell you tried to murder me with, so much that I gave some serious thought to pulling down the emergency air supply. Stay classy, 16-E.
Allergic to you.xo